Lonely but Not Alone
by blue-chrysanthemum
Summary: In which Dave is kinda a jerk. JohnDave, mostly.
1. Prologue

''God DAMNIT, Dave. _Not everything always has to be about you, okay?!_ Do you understand what i'm saying? Do you understand that _I have fucking problems of my own, you INSUFFERABLE ASSHOLE,_ and I can't constantly waste my time with your BULLSHIT.'' John yells, and you can tell he's on the verge of tears. You don't say anything.

''Oh, yeah, Of course. Be silent, with that goddamn smug face. Bye, Dave. Fuck you and good riddance.'' He says sharply, shouldering open the door and walking quickly past the room's window.

You take a deep breath, which hurts your lungs terribly, and then sigh.

Your name is DAVE STRIDER, and you have just FUCKED THINGS UP ENTIRELY, yet again.


	2. Chapter 1

You stare at the plain, white ceiling of the hospital room, absently making faces out of the pattern in the spackle. Your head still hurts like a bitch, and you find it hard to keep your train of thought as a train rather than a mob.

You must have fallen asleep or something, because next thing you know you're opening your eyes. You expect to see an empty chair, but surprisingly, John is there. Playing on his DS.

''What are you playing?'' You murmur. It comes out hoarsely, due to the goddamn smoke burns and grogginess. Smoke burns? You'll get to that later.

''Spirit Tracks.'' He says shortly, obviously not in the mood to make conversation.

You nod and watch him. The glare on his glasses from the DS screen makes it hard to see his eyes, but you know what they look like. His mouth is contorted into a frown of concentration, but you've memorized his smile.

''I'm sorry.'' You say quietly, and he looks up at you.

He sighs and shuts the DS, cocking his head to the side with a smug look, as if to say 'go on.'

''i'm sorry,'' you continue, ignoring the searing pain in your lungs, ''that i'm such a douchebag. That i'm constantly failing you. That i'm an asshole, most if not all of the time. For not treating you as well as you treat me. You don't deserve my bullshit, and I don't deserve you.''

''Dave...'' He says sadly, ''I can't break my million-dollar contract with the devil, or else i'd leave you in a heartbeat.''

''What?''

He laughs. ''Just kidding. Anyway, i'm hungry as shit. Gonna go pick up some food. You want anything?''

''Surprise me.''

''Okay, I was thinking pizza with chow mein noodles on it.''

''Very funny.''

He laughs before getting up and walking out.

 _''I'd leave you in a heartbeat.''_ The words echo through your head endlessly, and although he said he was joking, you question the reality of the sentence.

Why was he still your friend, after all of the shit you put him through?

If he was given a better opportunity, would he really leave you?

You can't stand the thought of not having John at your side. He's always been there, putting you back on your feet when you fall. Figuratively and literally.

You don't know what life would be without him.


	3. Chapter 2 (short my apologies)

''How does it feel to be doped up on pain meds all the time?'' John asks, between french fries.

Who the fuck eats french fries one at a time?

John. John eats french fries one at a time.

''Kinda shitty, to be honest. Like someone packed my head full of goddamn cotton stuffing.'' You say, absently picking a piece of fluff off of his sweatshirt.

''That's my personal space, Dave. That's homo.''

''You didn't care about personal space much that time you had a nightmare.''

''Fuck you.''

You laugh, the memory of you and John tangled up like a pair of those shitty apple earbuds flashing across your mind.

You don't really blame him, though; the game had traumatized most, if not all, of you.

Especially you.

You still remember the first week, waking up in a cold sweat after vividly remembering the bloody, sticky bodies of your friends around you. Sometimes it was Rose, or Jade - Karkat even.

But mostly it was John.

Having himself steamed to death. [A/N: Doomed!John, in case y'all didn't know.]

Being stabbed by Jack.

The endless blood spilling from him until you drowned in it.

You would wake up with the taste of it in your mouth, trembling and silently crying.

You force yourself to snap back into reality, where John is giving you a strange fond look.

And suddenly, you find your arms around him.

''I'm sorry.''

''For what?''

''This disgusting and unnecessary display of affection. I don't know why it's happening.''

And you can almost sense his smile as his arms surround you in return.


	4. Chapter 3

div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8000001907349px;"Despite your horrendous lack of confidence in your dear friend, he does return, carrying a plastic bag with something that smells a whole lot better than pizza or Chinese food./div  
div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8000001907349px;"He gives you that goofy goddamn joker smile and sets the bag down on a chair./div  
div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8000001907349px;""I am now a one man organization that brings new food to underprivileged dumbass Texans who only eat chow mein and Domino's." He says, tilting his head in your direction./div  
div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8000001907349px;""First of all, it's not my fault that I'm stupid, I didn't go to a goddamn prissy-ass private school for 8 years of my life. Second of all, it's not my fault that I've only eaten pizza and Chinese food. You try having a fridge full of swords and shit."/div  
div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8000001907349px;"He snorts and hands you what looks a whole lot like a take-out box as well as a plastic fork./div  
div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8000001907349px;"You open the box to find what looks like a pizza but not at all like a pizza. Instead of being circular and flat and shit, it's like a bowl, but it's not a bowl because what's making the bowl is edible./div  
div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8000001907349px;"Or maybe it just looks edible. You're not entirely sure./div  
div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8000001907349px;"In the weird edible or maybe not edible bowl is some lettuce or something and also what looks like tomatoes./div  
div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8000001907349px;"There's also meat./div  
div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8000001907349px;"And white stuff that has you mildly concerned because it's either very squishy strange cheese or solidified milk, and neither one sounds very appetizing./div  
div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8000001907349px;"You make a face and poke the weird combination of shit with the fork./div  
div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8000001907349px;""Oh my god, Dave, just eat it." John says, exasperated and yet mildly amused./div  
div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8000001907349px;"You hesitantly scoop up some of the seemingly unappetizing ingredients and take a bite./div  
div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8000001907349px;"Much to your chagrin, you're pleasantly surprised./div  
div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8000001907349px;""John, what the hell is this. It tastes like a fucking angel ate a dinner of kings and regurgitated it into my mouth."/div  
div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8000001907349px;"He snorts and makes a face. "You're so disgusting. It's a taco salad."/div  
div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8000001907349px;""What's in it and why is it so good."/div  
div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8000001907349px;""Well, the outside is a fried tortilla. I dunno all of what's in it but it's sour cream, tomatoes, lettuce, beef, and refried beans."/div  
div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8000001907349px;""Oh my god, i'm never eating Chinese food ever again. Holy shit." /div  
div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8000001907349px;"And so you spend who knows how long talking about random bullshit and eating food and laughing and reminiscing./div  
div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8000001907349px;"You get a strange sense of nostalgia, and it's great and horrible at the same time./div  
div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8000001907349px;"You find yourself glancing at the clock, wanting time to move more slowly, knowing that soon he'll say he has to leave and dreading it./div  
div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8000001907349px;"Sure enough, he looks at his watch and stands up. "Shit. Sorry, Dave, I gotta go." He says, reluctance in his tone./div  
div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8000001907349px;"You sigh. "Alright. See ya."/div  
div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8000001907349px;"He smiles and starts to walk out./div  
div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8000001907349px;""Wait."/div  
div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8000001907349px;"He stops./div  
div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8000001907349px;""Thank you." You say softly. "For everything."/div  
div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8000001907349px;"And he turns back around and gives you a smile and a hug (you're not sure which is better), and walks hurriedly away before you can see his face./div  
div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8000001907349px;"But you know it's that dumbass smile./div  
div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8000001907349px;"And you love it./div  
div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8000001907349px;"-/div  
div style="color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8000001907349px;"sighh all of my chapters are so short, sorry guys! ;-;/div 


End file.
